Thursday, October 1, 2009

What Fresh Hell?

This morning I was awakened by my alarm clock which is powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US Department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water which is provided by my municipal water utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of food inspected by the US Department of Agriculture and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the US Food and Drug Administration.

I saw my son off as he boarded the bus that takes him to the public school, and then I gathered my mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the US Naval Observatory, I got into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation. On my way to work, I stopped to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, I drove my NHTSA-approved car back home on the DOT roads. I returned to my house which had not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshall's inspection, and which has also not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

We had dinner - where myself and my family once again consumed food deemed safe by the USDA - with my grandparents who in no way would be able to afford their medications and would likely not still be with us without the assistance of the Medicare program.

After dinner my son played with his toys. One of his toys he no longer has because I was able to dispose of it in a timely manner after the US Consumer Product Safety Commission alerted me that the toy was defective and deemed dangerous as it posed a serious cutting hazard. After playtime, I put my son to bed while reading him a book I was able to check out for no charge from the public library.

All of the day's events were possible in part because of the the national security that's afforded me by the branches of the United States Armed Forces.

Then, as the day neared its conclusion, I logged on to the internet (which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration) so I could post on the FreeRepublic forums and the FoxNation forums how outraged I was that SOCIALISM and government-run programs are DESTROYING AMERICA

10 comments:

  1. Communism is running rampant through and roughshod over America. Dress up like an Aboriginal (politically correctly only though) and throw your tea bag (wet and soggy of course) at someone who doesn't agree with ME!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow. That's a mouthful. Don't get me started on Fox.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well I'll be gawldamned. This was ferking beautiful! Nuff said.

    Oh, and don't get Peach started, especially now that she has those "special" knickers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fox news is beneath contempt and it makes me nauseous to think about dignifying it with a second more of my attention than this.

    on the over-regulation and surveillance front, the pan-optican lives!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Confusion is rampant in my mind.
    You praise the things then curse them?
    Sorry, dude, but irony and sarcasm are lost pn me. Call it too dense, call it too stubborn. Moxnix (I have permission from a German Frau to spell it like that) ....
    is there a point?
    Irony?
    Sarcasm?
    Humor?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lou...thanks
    WalkingM...that just about sums it up.
    PeachT...we would end up talking over each other, while comparing notes.
    JadedJ...you most likely will be gawldamned, but I'll say a good word for you.
    Harlequin...just look at Google Maps and bing maps to understand the level of big brother watching we comfortably live with daily.
    boneman...das macht nichts,
    you are so very correct. It is
    Irony
    Sarcasm
    Humor
    you see it all too well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Irony, Sarcasm, Humor... you left out entertainment. That is what this is all about isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Punch...C had his brains scrambled by RPM's this past weekend...forgive him.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mr. C... actually No. in my book it is not all about entertaiment.
    JadedJ...that and he must have piped in the exhasut.

    ReplyDelete

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email punchnojudy@gmail.com, love being alive, the alterntiative has lousy hours, liberal and don't care if you give me cracked corn.