The new Zodiac.
Wrong! Wrong. Wrong? Wrong:
ARIES = APRIL 19 - MAY 13
TAURUS = MAY 14 - JUNE 19
GEMINI = JUNE 20 - JULY 20
CANCER = JULY 21 - AUG 9
LEO = AUGUST 10 - SEPTEMBER 15
VIRGO = SEPTEMBER 16 - OCTOBER 30
LIBRA = OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 22
SCORPIO = NOVEMBER 23 - NOVEMBER 29
OPHIUCHUS = NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17 WTF???
SAGITTARIUS = DECEMBER 18 - JANUARY 18
CAPRICORN = JANUARY 19 - FEBRUARY 15
AQUARIUS = FEBRUARY 16 - MARCH 11
PISCES = MARCH 12 - APRIL 18
TAURUS = MAY 14 - JUNE 19
GEMINI = JUNE 20 - JULY 20
CANCER = JULY 21 - AUG 9
LEO = AUGUST 10 - SEPTEMBER 15
VIRGO = SEPTEMBER 16 - OCTOBER 30
LIBRA = OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 22
SCORPIO = NOVEMBER 23 - NOVEMBER 29
OPHIUCHUS = NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17 WTF???
SAGITTARIUS = DECEMBER 18 - JANUARY 18
CAPRICORN = JANUARY 19 - FEBRUARY 15
AQUARIUS = FEBRUARY 16 - MARCH 11
PISCES = MARCH 12 - APRIL 18
This is why birds are falling out of the sky and fish floating to the top of water. (Banquet of Consequences)
Wrong
Just plain wrong.
I use to be a Pisces but, now I’m an Aquarius.
So let’s go back and revisit one of the life partners. Spent a lot if time in the saddle with this one. (no pun)
She was a Virgo but now a Leo.
These were the life signs
Pisces and Virgo love compatibility *1
(nothing! Zip! Zero! Snake eyes!) Yikes!!
*1 There is NO compatibility.
This is the zodiac I lived under or did not live under for all those years.
And, and I am just now finding out about it.
Some GodDamn Zodiac
Ok, OK, water under the bridge. (well I was a fish sign) These are the new life signs
Aquarius and Leo love compatibility
Leo can't get the cooperation or the admiration it requires, and Aquarius resents Leo's attempt to rule. *1 they have different views of independence: to Aquarius it means freedom to explore new horizons; to Leo it means pursuing a glamorous, extravagant lifestyle. Aquarius is interested in the world; Leo is strictly interested in Leo. *1 Their sexual life will be unsatisfactory for Leo as Aquarius can and will find others that capture their interests and this will frustrate Leo, causing Leo to think that her mate is inhuman and uncaring. *2 While these two will be attracted to one another, they are zodiac opposite which means that it can be a bad as well as good connection. *1
Leo can't get the cooperation or the admiration it requires, and Aquarius resents Leo's attempt to rule. *1 they have different views of independence: to Aquarius it means freedom to explore new horizons; to Leo it means pursuing a glamorous, extravagant lifestyle. Aquarius is interested in the world; Leo is strictly interested in Leo. *1 Their sexual life will be unsatisfactory for Leo as Aquarius can and will find others that capture their interests and this will frustrate Leo, causing Leo to think that her mate is inhuman and uncaring. *2 While these two will be attracted to one another, they are zodiac opposite which means that it can be a bad as well as good connection. *1
Footnotes:
*1 right on
*2 she sure have me fooled. Be Bop a Loola
We were not compatible under the old system and now we maybe are
Or maybe are not????
WTF??$$$
Let drift back to a more gentle time. This one I married.
Oh, OH, OHHHH hhhoooooo this one, she used to be a Gemini and now she’s a Taurus!!!
Pisces and Gemini love compatibility
The passion quotient is high, and so are the problems. The Pisces are too emotional for Gemini. Emotional Pisces for his turn is too easily hurt by thoughtless Gemini. Gemini is mischievous and playful, but Pisces is sensitive and takes things to heart. It creates an atmosphere of suspiciousness and mistrust. *1 There can be a feeling of flame between them but the instability in their relations will destroy connection as a result. *1 This is a rather risky connection and unhappy marriage. *2
The passion quotient is high, and so are the problems. The Pisces are too emotional for Gemini. Emotional Pisces for his turn is too easily hurt by thoughtless Gemini. Gemini is mischievous and playful, but Pisces is sensitive and takes things to heart. It creates an atmosphere of suspiciousness and mistrust. *1 There can be a feeling of flame between them but the instability in their relations will destroy connection as a result. *1 This is a rather risky connection and unhappy marriage. *2
*1 spot on
*2 now I find out.
That is what I lived through.
But let’s see what today’s Z signs bring:
Aquarius and Taurus love compatibility
Aquarius's careless attitude toward love will baffle and finally enrage highly passionate Taurus, who doesn't want someone just to play with. The Aquarius is inclined to analyze everything and not very interested in getting pleasure from making love. *1 The Aquarius would rather prefer to talk, but the sensual Taurus will not be satisfied with such type of love. *2 Taurus will seem to be too requiring for the Aquarius. These two are stubborn in very different ways: Aquarius refuses to be conventional, while Taurus rigidly adheres to the values of family and security. Aquarius is interested in humane concerns; Taurus is single minded about itself and its possessions. *3 Aquarius puts a low emphasis on sex *4 and places it far down on the list of necessities. *4* This attitude could cause Taurus some major upsets as she will not be able to accept the problems of the whole world sharing her bed, which could cause Taurus to become over demanding in Aquarius' eyes.
Aquarius's careless attitude toward love will baffle and finally enrage highly passionate Taurus, who doesn't want someone just to play with. The Aquarius is inclined to analyze everything and not very interested in getting pleasure from making love. *1 The Aquarius would rather prefer to talk, but the sensual Taurus will not be satisfied with such type of love. *2 Taurus will seem to be too requiring for the Aquarius. These two are stubborn in very different ways: Aquarius refuses to be conventional, while Taurus rigidly adheres to the values of family and security. Aquarius is interested in humane concerns; Taurus is single minded about itself and its possessions. *3 Aquarius puts a low emphasis on sex *4 and places it far down on the list of necessities. *4* This attitude could cause Taurus some major upsets as she will not be able to accept the problems of the whole world sharing her bed, which could cause Taurus to become over demanding in Aquarius' eyes.
Footnotes:
*1This ain’t even fucking close. She and I love the horizontal Bop. I am only interested in getting pleasure from making Love.
*2 Fuck Talk! Let’s Fuck, that’s what I fucking talked about!
*3 This is right on She was single minded about herself.
*4 JESUS!!
*4* JESUS H. CHRIST!!!!!
Not even GodDamned Close.
And what the hell about Pluto???
I have always been a Scorpio, and I ain't changing. Something may have been realigned, but it ain't me.
ReplyDeleteThis thing is fucked up. I am definitely NOT a Taurus.
ReplyDeleteWat the hell is an OPHIUCHUS anyway? Oh, it just came clear. Oh-Fuck-Us! We're dead.
ReplyDeleteWobble, wobble, wobble...toil and trobble. I will be back manana to explain all of this to you, my astrologically demented friend. No time tonight.
ReplyDeleteRead up on the Mayan and Hopi mythology. This 13th sign comes to pass something like every 60,000 years. We fully align with it on 12/21/12...uh so I suggest you get horizontal as oftn as you can for the next couple of years.
ReplyDelete@ MR. C - What, may I ask, is wrong with being a Taurus????
ReplyDeleteHey man, it's like this (I hope this clears it up for you):
ReplyDeleteWhen the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius
The Age of Aquarius
Aquarius! Aquarius!
Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius! Aquarius!
When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius
The Age of Aquarius
Aquarius! Aquarius!
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
I'm staying a Virgo, despite the new PC Zodiac shit. Never did put much truck in that shit anyhow.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Doug - this Scorpio aint no Libra!
ReplyDeleteDoug…My words exactly.
ReplyDeleteMr. Charleston…no you’r not a Taurus nor an Ophuchus, one is a car the other an activity.
JadedJ…Let’s see now:
A. I’m not demented
B. Astrologically I’m indifferent.
C. There is always time tonight.
the walkin’ man…I will take you sage advice and get horizontal as often as I can. If the gods are smiling it might be for more than two years. If they are not, chuckle well the jokes on them. Now they have to deal with me and my bop.
Intelli…Right on Sister, talk Memphis to that white boy.
JadedJ…Oh Great!!! I had just gotten that song out of my head. Although letting the sunshine in is always nice.
Andrew…I heard a comic say once, when asked what sign he was born under, ‘The Stop sign on the corner of Hollywood and Vine.
Urban Cynic…Scorpio is among my favorites and Libras make me worry.