Saturday, November 6, 2010

What Fresh Hell - Pledge ca 2010

Ok, OK.  I'm sitting at my computer minding my own socialist business and this piece of writing comes into my e-world from the hate mongers out there.  Now, I believe in go along to get along, but now, even that is coming under attack.  Seems like no one is safe from having to hate someone, ya know, like the Christians you have lived around all your life.  They now seems to want you to go and pound on a bible on the street corners, and pray out loud and crap like that.  Like the Sadducees:
The Sadducees (Hebrew: צדוקים‎ Tzedukim) were a group or a sect of Jews opposed to the Pharisees (Hebrew: פרושים‎ — from which today's Rabbinical Jews are descended) that were active in the Land of Israel during the Second Temple period, starting from approximately the second century BCE. They are believed to have ceased to exist sometime after the destruction of Herod's Temple in Jerusalem in 70 CE, but it has been speculated that modern Karaites may be descended from the Sadducees.
You See??
Or maybe it was the Pharisees I'm thinkin' 'bout, I forget, anyway this is what I got in Email and at the bottom is an expanded version of my reply.

Only 31 words --- Think about it? Isn't life strange? I never met one Veteran who enlisted to fight for Socialism, 86% will send this on.

If Muslims can pray on Madison Avenue, why are Christians banned from praying in public and erecting religious displays on their holy days? I was asked to send this on if I agree, or delete if I don't. It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having 'In God! We Trust' on our?money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance. I believe it's time we stand up for what we believe! If you agree, pass this on, ( I did) if not, delete.

(By the way that is WAY more than 31 words) So! Now, right there at the end is what got to me.  See I GET IT!!!.  I'm mean I can blow past 86% of Americans believe in God, and let slide, ergo we all want to have God on the money, and stuck in the pledge, ca 1952, after I had learned the damn thing for school morning crap with a bible reading that I had just heard for 4 hours on Sunday and 1 hour on Wed. night. and now to have to add 'UNDER GOD', yeah right.  Jesus get it right the first time. but i digress. 
Why do i only have two choices? Believe like them or delete it. Hoop and Holler like us or shut the fuck up.
No there must be a write-in blank line.  So I made one up.

Let's see what the famous dead guy they all pray to said. to wit:
Matthew 6:6
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

New American Standard Bible (ca 1995)
"But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
God' Word (ca 1996)
When you pray, go to your room and close the door. Pray privately to your Father who is with you. Your Father sees what you do in private. He will reward you.

The first 8 Verses of Matthew 6
New American Standard Bible (ca 1995)
1 “Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.

2 “So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
3 “But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
4 so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

5 “When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
6 “But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

7 “And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words.
8 “So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

Verse 6 from the RGB (revised Glenn Beck version).
But you, when you pray, put on a bullet proof vest,
Stand on the mall, with snipers in high places behind you
gather throngs of people around you
pray in a loud voice with a teletron
and god who seeth in secret
will send a flock of geese openly.

I think the loud prayors are winning. 
Someone should contact the famous dead guy and let him know what is going on in his name. 
Hey I could be wrong. 
Could be He's pissed off too.

(ahem) note to all intilli women out there, please don't blame the messenger about the Him,He Father thing.
OK, ok, I'm going to hell, but just what if, I mean just for grins, ya know and giggles, God had sent Her only begotten Daughter.
Would the world be any different?


  1. Yea verily, brother Punch.

    Church of the Open Door version (better know as, COD): Go ye into that place alone, and come out a happy man/woman/it. Magazines optional.

    I generally get this kind of bull poop from ex-high school chums who have tracked me down. They ASSUME that simply because we shared a few years as CHILDREN, I hold the same idiotic ideas as an adult...MANY YEARS REMOVED from then. I never get this kind of shit from old college pals...never.

    Just remember, this bat shittery is coming from mush minds who are basically idjits.

    I liked your reply, however. Only I would have used the word cocksucker at least once.

    Him, the father. I have wondered about that particular bigotry for a long time now. That label would infer that God, if He is a He, has a dick. Why? Just asking.

  2. Pull that message out of your trash and tell them for me in reply that God, not his kid, but God himself said for me to pass along to you to pass along to them

    "And the Lord your God sayeth placeth your lips uponeth my ass and kiss." You are the prophet to carry this message to the people of the email.

    See what I don't understand is why they don't get it? God is a generic word not a proper name so what do they want The Lord Krishna in the Pledge and Shiva (the fierce destroyer/warrior) on the money. Really let's get some specifics going here.

    What god do they want me to placate with vacuous words that lack truth of my heart behind them and most certainly are intended to be self serving?

    All of them of the cults of any kind including the cult of Jesus can leave me the fuck alone or I will smite them a mighty smite for their ignorance.

  3. I want to know more about these Sadducees. (Shouldn't that be Seducees with an "e"?) And what's all this shit about going into the closet to wack off? Why would you do that when the whole thing is a jerk off in the first place? And who the hell is this guy Hulkenberg who dareth to take pole? So many questions, so little time.

  4. The Heavenly Mama, her several begotten Daughters (adopted ones, too), and her multitudes of Sisters sayeth that boys will be boys. Yea, while they (the boys) boast that one's god is better than the other's, and seeke to distract Mama et. al with their rods and their staffs, Mama says: Love each other, even when you know the other is wrong. Because unholy dudes have subprimed the kingdom and, post-foreclosure, this is the only home we have. Wipe your feet.


  5. Well saideth Intelliwench. However, we boys (and girls too) shalt not forget that thy rod and thy staff shall comfort me.

  6. Ahem, intell, a few Heavenly Daughters:

    Palin-“Don't Retreat…Reload”

    O'Donnell-"If he already knows what pleases him and he can please himself, then why am I in the picture?"

    Angle-"The Federal Department of Education should be eliminated. The Department of Education is unconstitutional and should not be involved in education, at any level."

    Bachmann-"I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I'm not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I'm not a scientist."

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. Jaded, those are NOT Heavenly Daughters, but rather the Bimbii of Babbleon.

  9. Heavenly Daughters...

    Mae West... "She should have thrown him out and kept the stork!"

  10. Jadedj…first let me offer praise and honor for the most excellent tribute afforded this wrenched site by this poor wayfaring pilgrim. I am but a worm chewing through the remnants of the great teaching of all sentient beings and most unworthy of your reference to this post from your Most High Alter of the brightest and the most reverent Banquet for all the readers of the blogosphere. Thank you, thank you, thank you, my ancestors thank you, my friends thank you, my enemies thank you, God in all of He/She/It incarnations thank you.
    (I forgot what I wanted to say to you) Oh yeah!
    Number 1 thing: Bat shit may be purchased in 1 pound bags. One has a choice of Mexican or Jamaican. The Christmas Islands also offer an excellent product.
    Number 2 thing: (no pun) you most excellent word has been duly written into the record.
    Number 3 thing: (working on a pun) If god has a dick would that make him (Him) such as a three dollar bill?
    (ahem) Sidebar: I’m sorta worried about that ‘which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.’ I would much rather He be a She.

    The walkin’ man…thank you so very much for helping me to understand that I am a prophet called by the email to spread knowledge of a generic god. I will go forth and preach. If my blog goes silent, do not worry it just means I have made contact with the Knights of Arkansas Klan. I am confident that Shiva will show up in one form or another. Most likely bring that bitch Kali with Him, too. They will cover your mighty smite.
    Yours in trust of god.

    Mr. Charleston…regarding the spelling, you might be correct but Google only shows it with an ‘A’. You are the only one to make the leap of faith from praying to wacking. With this most excellent expression of understand of the gospel I will offer your name up as Eldest of the Elders and Deaconess of the Deacons.
    Sidebar; please do not introduce motor racing references in a small room when the walkin’ man is present. But I would add, obviously, his prayer was answered. God spends a lot of time in the kitchen and likes stirring the pot.

    Intelli…thank you for your most excellent presence. It is always an honor of the highest magnitude to have you take time from your frenetic schedule to discuss spiritual concepts with the boys. I would suggest you not let Mr. Charleston get you between him and the closet. Please do not speak of body parts at any time with jadedj. I am fairly sure you may speak freely and openly with the walkin’ man on any topic. One word of caution, don’t talk about that Volvo you bought back in ’01.

    Mr. Charleston…I would offer a slight revision ‘MY rod and MY staff shall comfort ME (and her if she is so willing.)
    Palin is a load
    O’Donnell is a reason to practice self abuse
    Angle, I couldn’t from any angle.
    Bachmann is severely lacking without Turner and the Overdrive.
    Mr. Charleston…Heavenly Daughters, ah yes the Sisters of After Midnight Mercies. Mercy, Mercy, Mercy.

  11. Intelli...(ahem) one of the endearing qualities of the Sister of After Midnight Mercies is their total lack of Bimbiiness. These broads Know the Truth and it has set them Free. (well, ok not free, but they are reasonable)

  12. Regarding the spelling of Sadducees. Just wishful thinking. Seductees seems so much better.

  13. great post and great comments; as my ( over educated double phd'd in religion in communication ) spouse is wont to say: who says god says???!!! now that's a question.

    after seeing how important it is to be noticed when one is devout and how pesky those admonitions are to be devout in private, it is now more obvious to me why these folks are the way they are.... they are, sad, you see?

  14. Harlequin…now to be graced by your Most Excellent presence is a great ending to an enlightening day. Dr. Dr. Mr. Harlequin that is a lot of knowledge to carry. We have seemed to have lost our way, now if you’re not making a big display of giving, it’s almost like you are not American.
    Oh that’s right you’re not. No worry we need your mindset on this planet.
    It is sad to see the hypocrisy.
    ‘The Power of Now’ is a book I’m reading at present. Ah now? Well not right now, ‘cause I’m typing, nevermind.

  15. Please tell me you did not quote the "rod and staff" quote. You did, didn't you? Is that the only thing you picked up down there in the First Baptist Church (never say I didn't give you an opening, C)?

  16. Mr. C...Praying in a closet. I believe you were the one that shifted the subject for god to man.
    Jadedj...stop encouraging him.


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email, love being alive, the alterntiative has lousy hours, liberal and don't care if you give me cracked corn.