Wednesday, August 4, 2010

What Fresh Hell: Last Supper 82010

I took an important painting that has been around for a while and reworked a postcard of it and sent it to a friend for his comments. This is what I got back. Please feel free to do the same as he, comment on what you see in the picture.

Please, freely, Please.

On Sat, Jul 31, 2010 at 8:42 PM, I wrote:

Like I mentioned

What do you think? Describe your thoughts upon seeing this.

He wrote:

Ok, you asked for my thoughts AS I VIEWED IT. I studied it from left to right (don't know why, except I was always taught to go from left to have my light from left...write from the left, shit like that. This is of course bullshit to a left-handed person (My grandmother for example). Anyway, first thing I notice which is something I have never noticed before is Peter is about to pull down Mary's blouse. This clears up many things which occur over the next 2,000 plus years. Mary rejects him...she is the final straw, in a long line of straws...he turns to little boys, who don't know the damned difference...and Peter passes it on, down the damned line.

Next, I noticed that the wine jugs have been removed from the table...local ordnance, perhaps? We can't serve you are too God damned drunk. They would have demanded their car keys, but.

Then I see that Mark is gesturing to someone stage right, to come on in. The little Rascals? The pole dancers? The centurions? Did we accuse the wrong person for treachery? Quite mysterious.

Moving on to the right...I noticed ANOTHER woman. Has to be a woman, because she/her/it has no beard! WTF? Another woman in the equation. Is this another virgin? Is this a paternity lawsuit in the making? After all, we only have Jesus’ word regards what actually happened out there in the desert. Know what I mean? I also noted that she/he/it seems to be reaching for her right teat, as if preparing to nurse...or, offer it to...Peter? We can only surmise...and accept the obvious by faith. Anyway, I'm of the opinion that the mystery woman is...Salome...which rhymes with Stallone, the Italian pony. It is also worthy of note that if you take out the "o" and "e" in Salome, and add "a" and "i" have salami...which is what she was probably ordering up.

Finally we have the fink of all finks...Judas Escargot (yes, yes, I know...he too has no beard...but he was confused as to his sexuality...and in those days, you didn't just go to Sweden and get it whacked off, or stuffed up your whatever that part is. I am of the opinion that this was the real issue between Judas and Jesus). Anyway, at first glance it appears that ol' JE is talking to...Death. But on closer examination, it can be seen that he is actually talking to the pizza guy in the wings, telling him to hurry the fuck up, as he is tired of the watered down wine of my body, and bread of my brains...and bring on the frucking anchovies.

One other note - have you ever noticed that the only empty plate is...the plate of...Jesus? What does this signify?

Lastly, I would definitely agree that your motto arch-flying above all these clowns is a truism...with an additional phrase...clears throat:


And in closing I would say, go with is a damned sight better than some bullshit post about getting old and shit like that there.

Hope this doesn't piss you off to terribly much.

PS...I do like the graphic.


  1. Why is there only 4 pair of feet showing, what is everyone else doing with theirs? And that is some shabby ass carpet. I hope that was benefit last supper to replace the rugs. I had the same thought about Peter trying to get a peep show.

  2. Why does your friend hate America?

    Walking man, a little know fact about the disciples...eight of them were midgets. It is in honor of them that the font size of this post is so wee.

  3. Looks to me like JC's left hand is on backwards and the guy to his left is wearing sneakers and the guy behind him is gesturing to the three old farts on the far left. Whatever it is he's saying, he's sure got their attention but I'll bet it's got something to do with the bill.

    Re-reading your friend's notes it strikes me, no, it smells to me like some kind of jaded character has his hand in it, instead of around it, which is his usual posture.

  4. Soooooo, speaking of hands around...and, ahem, wee...Mr. C, the prince of snark, contributes his usual unrelated-to-the-subject sexual innuendo. Nuff said.

    Incidentally...take a look at the dude on the right. Put a Panama Hat on him, and who does he look like?

  5. What sexual innuendo? JJ,... a dirty mind is the devil's playground. By the one on the right, I presume you mean the one to the right of JC. The one without a hat.

  6. not hats...halos; why do they have the halos before anyone has gone and died in noble fashion?
    the grim reaper is a nice touch... foreshadowing, perchance??
    gesturally, a number of interpretations come to mind:
    1) WTF?!
    2) stand up sit down, fight , fight , fight
    3) not up my nose, you don't!

    funny stuff; most enjoyable.

  7. Walkin’ Man…I always found the feet odd myself. Maybe the some were playing footsie, always fun at the right party.
    JadedJ…I’m not sure were you get the guy does not like America; you might help me understand that, if you care. I never thought of the fact the apostles were midgets, makes as much sense as most religious teachings.
    Mr. C…I agree about JC’s left hand. Looks like a manikin in a rundown clothing store. I did not see the sneakers. I think you’re correct about the bill. Maybe the three guys are about to reach out to Judas for a few pieces of silver to pay the bill.
    JadedJ…I must apologize for some of the posters, they do behave in childish fashion. Would that make them a poster child? Nah. I will make a note to use a wee bit larger typeface next time.
    Mr. C…well, if you are the poster child then it’s ok that you like the playground. BTW the one on the right of JC is a woman. Better watch your ass in the playground.
    Harlequin…Thanks for helping out with the halo understanding. I would suggest two of the commenter’s are unfamiliar with halo’s, their means and in particular, the way to obtain one. I have wondered about why they had them also, you know, being alive and all. I think it somehow goes to Raphael and the way he painted or was it Pre-Raphael? I hate that part. Yes, Senor Grim does bring a sobering thought into the room. Might have arrived with the pizza. Your take on the hand gestures is quite close.
    I think it would be interesting to chat with Senor Di Vinci.
    “Yo Leo, my buds and I were sitting 'round a table and drinkin' a wee bit of Merlo and got to wondereing, (ahem)just what the hell were you thinking that day?”

  8. Any idiot can tell that the left hand was one of those fakes that come off when you go to shake hands with someone. Jesus was probably saving that trick for the Romans but Peter needed an extra hand for his peep show so as the loving Rabbi that he was he gave his extra to Peter.

  9. Well, duh...everybody nose Amurica is Christian. Just ask that other almost virgin...Sarah.

  10. Walkin' Man...that is a good point. There is something very funkie going on the with hands. Maybe an early beginnings of the need for the church to reach for just a wee bit more.
    JadedJ...Oh. Yeah, I forgot that part about America being christian and all. I suppose it's all that talk about the poor and the meek and how to get rid of them, that is throwing me off.
    Wonder what Jesus would do if He read this post.

  11. Jesus, my man, would love to have a beer with you...and then you could talk about his line of Christian a discount, of course.


Gems of thought


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email, love being alive, the alterntiative has lousy hours, liberal and don't care if you give me cracked corn.