Saturday, June 19, 2010

What Fresh Hell, Math Class 6/19/10

The Stuff of creativity.

Non sequiturs


Let’s say 20,000 barrels a day times 42 gallons a day for 60 days.

That is approx. 50,400,000 gallons of oil.

That could also be written 50.4 million gallons of oil. Ya know to save on the cost of ink and wasting paper and helping the planet.

Ya know, and all.

So, right now, as you read this post, we have guys and gals, (I would hope) shoveling stuff on the beach, into plastic bags.

Sometimes, wearing funky suits, sometimes not.

Ok, so anyway there they are on the beach aiming to pick up 50.4 mil gals. (no pun) of oil on the beach.

(Wonder what Coppertone and Hawaiian Tropic are saying right now.)

Back to the math class, 50.4 mil. Gals. Weighs: humm

Oil, petroleum
Specific Gravity 0.88
That means that it weighs 0.88 kilograms/liter

1 liter = 0.2641721 gallon [US, liquid]
0.88 / 0.2641721 = 3.3312 kilograms/gallon
1 kilogram = 2.2046226 pound
3.3312 * 2.2046226 = 7.344 pounds/gallon

1 gallon weighs 7.344,

7000 gallons would weigh
7000 x 7.344 = 51,408 pounds


50,400,000 gallons would weigh, (oh jezz)

Latest update: some put the flow rate at 77 million.

(So the math instructor says that is a lot of fuckin’ oil to be picked up.) Let’s see now, 7 times 77 (sounds biblical) = 539 million pounds of oil, to pick up, plus at least another 539 pounds of crap along with it. (i.e. sand, seaweed (weed?) hay from starving farmers, hell, let the starving farmer jump in with dead birds, dead turtles, dead fish, dead mangroves,

(oh and don’t for get the tennis balls from Wimbledon, a free gift the British Lawn Tennis Association.)

That is approaching 1078 million pounds of shit to be picked up and paid for with the 20 billion pounds of British sterling.

Ok, OH Kaye, listen up now class….

So 10.78 m into 20 b (mumble hum harrumph) is that really $190 dollars per pound???

I’m sure I missed something.

Let’s see 10,780,000 into 20,000,000,000 (drop the zeros, god noses BP is)

That is 10,780 into 20,000,000

Oh thank god, I made a mistake.

It is $1872.00 per pound (US)

I feel better now.


Nothin’s wrong but something ain’t right.

That is 539,000,000 x 2 = 1078,000,000 and that is 1,078,000,000!!! SON OF A BITCH!!!

THAT, ahem, that is Approx $ 19.00 (US) per pound of British caused shit.

(They just got even for Washington’s victory all those years ago.)

I don’t feel so pretty good right now.

Thanks for reading.

What does Joan think about it all?


  1. the blues were sublime; the math is just plain genius.
    you make the point dramatically and with no apologies.
    nice work.

  2. Ahem, it's 20 Billion DOLLARS, not pounds, pal. Hell of a difference. Otherwise...I don't know otherwise.

  3. Thank you Harlequin. I like your last post, but could not get beyond hoping maybe that 90 year old cat may have done it after all.

    JadedJ...actually they now get to brag back in UK that it is only 14.8 billion pounds sterling. I was kinda likin' the sterling juxtaposed against the black oil.

  4. Punch, your recent posts have been making me dizzy. I don't mind - but it leaves me speechless

  5. Punch, sorry, after re-reading this, I realize that my comment seemed to be a dig. Really didn't mean it that way. This was a brilliant piece and I didn't mean to take away from it, bro.

  6. PENo...You dizzy? nah. but thanks for the compliment.
    JadedJ...did not seem that way at all. seemed like JadedJ. It helped me to figure out why I was bouncing between dollars and sense.

  7. Dang Punch, you must have eaten your Wheaties today. Makes me dizzy too. Since I am not a mathematician I have no frigging idea what you just said except that the British have dumped a shit load on us.

    I have a great story about how BP duped us into Iran and having to back the Shah I'll tell you sometime.


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email, love being alive, the alterntiative has lousy hours, liberal and don't care if you give me cracked corn.