Thursday, September 3, 2009

nuff said

MESSAGE OF GOODWILL,

This is Madam EUNICE JOHN,
I am suffering from brain cancer, I am writing from the hospital in Cote D'Ivoire, this mail is very urgent. I was told by the doctor that, I will only live for few month. I inherited some money ($4.2 Million usdollars ) from my late Husband which I do not want the fund to go in vain since I can not survive from the illness.
I want you to contact my house girl, Miss ELLIS LATIF, her Email is ( ellis_latif@sify.com ) Please contact Miss ELLIS LATIF with any valid driving license or id card or your photo and your telephone numbers to assure her that you shall never cheat or betray her when you have access to this funds. All the original documents will be change from my name to your name to enable the SECURITY COMPANY deliver the inherited box to you in your country.
This is the favour I need from you when you have gotten this fund:
(1) Use 50% of this fund for charities, donate to churches and orphanage.
(2) Use 50% for any investment of your choice and to support Miss ELLIS LATIF in life and send her to the best university in your country when she come to meet you in your country.

This should be a code between you and Miss ELLIS LATIF in this transaction "Hospital" any mail message without this code "Hospital" is not from ELLIS LATIF or me as I don't know what will happen to me in the next few hours.
Please don't betray the trust I have manifest in you. I don't want you to expose this transaction to anybody around you there or here until you and Miss ELLIS LATIF finished every matter with the security company and have the inherited box to your care.

May God bless you and guide you to make good use of the fund.
Please pray for my soul to rest in peace as am about to die.
Best Regards.
From Madam EUNICE JOHN.

13 comments:

  1. So I'm assuming this is a letter you got in your spam mail today about your new good fortune.

    I'd definitely watch anybody with the name Miss ELLIS LATIF. Anybody with any sense knows that's a bullshit name.

    And Madam EUNICE JOHN. Who does she thinks she is?

    I'd give better odds to Mr. Charleston's website with the lottery random number generator.

    Speaking of Mr. Charleston. I miss that rascal.

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  2. PeachT...damn! that is the reason i posted it. I just knew it was too good to be true. Phooey. Yeah it has been quite without Mr. C. But I think he's back wearing gloom and doom.

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  3. It's your lucky day Punch, you're in the money! I wish I could get one of those emails.

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  4. Now wait this might, just might be a sincere letter sent out to garner that one trusting soul that is being looked for. I would, but I suggest that you respond to it Punch, it was after all sent directly to you.

    A cry for help, a plea for someone to sponsor the loyal house girl Miss ELLIS LATIF to a better life in America as well as helping divine charity. How could you not respond in the affirmative?

    After all the kind, caring and terminal miss Eunice John is pleading for you PUNCH to assist her in her dying wish. Please aide her!

    Not for the promised lucre but rather to embolden the kindness which you are so obviously known for even to the furthest reaches of Cote D'Ivoire, should you immediately respond.

    Remember to look for the secret woid to win a prize.

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  5. Lou...those are encourging words for this poor sinner.
    WalkingM...your words come from the voice of a loving and kind man who has been placed upon this earth to remind me of the true purpose of life, that, of course, tends to elude me, what with my somewhat cynical view of people.
    Thank you, Thank you Thank you. I must go now to try to unerase the email. How could i have been so selfcentered.

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  6. You bastard! You have already betrayed her trust by posting her letter for the scheming world to read. Oh, btw...HOSPITAL (don't worry about erasing it...you'll get another).

    Yours,
    FITAL SILL(E)

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  7. Ha ha. Do you have your credit card details?

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  8. jadedj...bastard is a bit strong don't you think? I would prefer rascal. HOSPITAL.
    James...Hospital visa 55564425055602

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  9. Bastard rolls off the tongue more fluidly. Bastard...rascal. See.

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  10. If you give MONEY, we will ENCHANCE your PEN!S size muchly.

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  11. ComradeK...you betcha, just as soon as this fox comes across with the do ra me.

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  12. rascal works!
    but, honestly, how can anyone be anything but cynical about sincerity like this??

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  13. Harlequin...thanks for the backup. I work for a small community of upscale folks and one member of the community spent a young fortune flying 'round the world in persuit of wealth as discribed in the above. In the end she was asking the community for a hand out. It was embarrassing to read in the local paper. I sent good thoughts her was, but no money. (saving that for my penis enlargment)

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email punchnojudy@gmail.com, love being alive, the alterntiative has lousy hours, liberal and don't care if you give me cracked corn.